Ongoing story

[Rex]

...Boo Woods, which loved to buy odd items. Arriving in a few minutes due to the speed of the ship, Wario and the shroob looked around. They soon found a shop run by a boo, who after looking at the acid, proclaimed it to be worth 1,000,000 coins. As Wario's gang flew toward Wario's castle, even richer then they already were, Mario woke with a start. He started to head home, unfazed by the facts that the shroob empire was in ruins and that Luigi has suffocated to death. But when Mario got back to his house, he saw it had been wreaked by Donkey Kong, who had been searching for more bananas. Mario ran in and attempted to hit Donkey Kong with a hammer, but Donkey Kong just picked him up and threw him (again). Mario was tossed out of the house and straight into...
A. Bowser on his way to kidnap princess peach
B. A lakiUFO
C. A Yoshi

[shadowgoomba]

...Bowser on his way to kidnap Princess Peach. Unfortunately, he landed right on Bowser's horns and hopped off with a start.
"What's this? Gah! Pest! I haven't even captured her yet! Oops, I may have said to much," said Bowser.
Mario still was slightly delirious, but he knew one thing: he must protect Peach.
"So you are going to capture her, then? Well, in that case, prepare to battle, Bowser!" said Mario.
"Not so fast, Mario!" said Bowser as he used a predictable fireball attack.
Mario quikly put on a Hammer Bros. Suit and reflected it back at him. Mario then...

A. Asked for Bowser's help to find out what Wario was up to.
B. Brought him to the police so they can arrest him.
C. Knocked him out with a sledgehammer.

[Toomai]

...asked for Bowser's help to find out what Wario was up to.
"Shut up! Do you know where that Wario is? He's trying to sell some rare stuff!"
"Rare stuff? Ooh, sounds like a plan! I'll see you later, particlebrain!" Bowser left, leaving Mario even more clueless than before. Looking around, he saw three blocks.

A. A Metal Box.
B. A Heart Block.
C. A ! Switch.

[shadowgoomba]

He hit the ! Switch. Nothing happened. He hit it again. Still nothing happened. He hit it a third time. Finally, it did something back: it smashed downward, knocking Mario out again. There was a rustling from the bushes.
"Here come the Koopa Bros.!" the team yelled in unison as they hopped out.
"What an idiot. I can't believe he fell for it again," said Yellow.
"He seems drawn to those things, even though they're dangerous," said Green.
"Well, he's ours now. I say we take him back to Bowser and cash him in. We'll be promoted to generals at least!" said Black.
"Quiet, you! I make the orders around here! I say that we...

A. call Bowser's cell phone so we can meet halfway, dunce,"
B. wait until night so we don't get caught, stupid,"
C. tie Mario up so he won't escape, idiot,"

[Rex]

...call Bowser's cell phone so we can meet halfway, dunce,". Red went to a phone located convinently around the corner and called bowser's number. "What is it!" yelled bowser, "I'm flying across the ocean in my clown copter and I don't have time to chat".
"But sir" said Red, we've captured Mario!".
"Wait a minute, didn't I fire you? Never mind, just take him to Kammy and she'll handle the rest. If you don't bungle this up, I might even start paying you dolts".
"Sure thing king", said Red.
But when he went back to the rest of the koopa bros he saw with horror that...
A. Fighter flies were invading the mushroom kingdom
B. Yellow, green, and black were sleeping on the job
C. The bodies of a thousand dead koopas were rising from the dead

[shadowgoomba]

...the bodies of a thousand dead Koopas rising from the dead.
"We have come to warn you...we have all tried...do not capture Mario," said the Dry Bones together.
"What? But we can afford to retire now if we bag him. We can't miss this opportunity!" yelled Yellow.
"Trust us....you will end up worse than before...just you wait....he'll find a way out somehow," said the Dry Bones.
"Hey who's side are you on? Besides, what about King Boo? His plan worked," said Red.
"Yes...but he was rescued," they said.
"By Luigi, who suffocated. Bowser's on our side. Wario and his team's preoccupied and no one else knows. We can't fail!" said Black.
"You are wrong...he always has...a loophole out of it," they said.
"So what do you propose we do? We can't just leave him here," said Green.
The Dry Bones responded with...

A. "Take...us with you...for backup."
B. "Retrace...Mario's footsteps...and eliminate any...problems."
C. "Use...the secret tunnel...to hide yourselves."

[Toomai]

"Use...the secret tunnel...to hide yourselves."
"There ain't no secret tunnel," said Black. "I've scouted this area for years, and there's only this litte cave in that bush."
He pointed at the bush. Instantly, Yoshi, Kirby, and Pikachu popped out.
"What the..." Red gasped. "What's going on here?"
Kirby pushed away a box labeled "Plot Holes" with his foot.
"Oh, I'll tell you what's going on here," said Yoshi. "You peeps...

A. are in for a party of pain!"
B. will release Mario or feel the wrath!"
C. better give up now! Have at you!"

[shadowgoomba]

...are in for a party of pain!"
"Oh yeah? Bring it on! In case you haven't noticed, we a whole army behind us!" said Red.
Yoshi threw one well-angled egg at the Dry Bones, richocheting off each one and knocking them down. Kirby ate one of Yoshi's exploding eggs and gained his Crash power, destroying every last Dry Bones.
"You were saying?" asked Yoshi.
"Um...well, we've got the power of teamwork! We'll beat you ourselves!" said Green.
They formed their famous Koopa Bros. tower and took fighting poses.
"Oh, so that's how you want to play it, huh? Fine then!" said Yoshi.
The team did a similar move. First, Kirby swallowed Red from the top and spit him back out. He was now Shell Kirby. Next, Yoshi ate the shell and spat it out with emmense force. Finally, at the last second, Pikachu shocked Kirby with a huge ball of electricity. The projectile hurled towards the Koopa Bros. with blinding speed. The Koopa Bros. flew in the air and landed with a thud. Green and Yellow were knocked out. Black was paralyzed. Red was the only one active.
"Useless! All of you! I'll beat you myself!" yelled Red.
Red went into another fighting stance and launched himself at the heroes with a rocket blast from his shell. But they were ready. Pikachu used Light Screen right at the right time. Red bounced back with all the force from his own attack. He was knocked out as well.
"It's okay, Mario, we'll get you to safety," said Yoshi.
"Don't think this is the last of us! We'll get you next time!" yelled Black, still paralyzed.
The trio ignored this. They had to think.
"So do we do anything with the Koopa Bros.?"
Kirby responded with,

A. "No, our main priority should be to get Mario to the hospital."
B. "Yes! Arrest those lowlifes!"
C. "Not yet. First we should think about where Mario was going. It might've been important."

[komrade]

"Yes! Arrest those lowlifes!"
And then he sucked up all of them, later to be excreted at the police station.
However, that proved to be useless. Now, the three cutesy mascots were left without any clues or answers - just an unconscious plumber and a legion of shattered Dry Bones. Eventually, a single Dry Bones managed to put himself back together, albeit with all of the parts in the wrong places. He spoke with a horrible rasp:

A. "Stop... what is your name... and what is your quest?"
B. "I want... your SOUL!"
C. "You... meanies..."

[Toomai]

"You...meanies..."
Yoshi shrugged. "Hey, we're the good guys. Justice will prevail and all that stuff, right?"
Mario groaned and sat up. Kirby ran off to the police, while Pikachu bolted away.
"What-a happened...?"
Yoshi shook his head. "Squat, man. We just gotta blow this joint, see where Fat Man's at."
Mario responded with...

A. "Who's-a Fat Man?"
B. "Yeah, we need to find that Wario."
C. "Get me a Mushroom first."

[shadowgoomba]

"Who's-a Fat Man?"
"Gasp! He has amnesia!" yelled Yoshi in horror.
*Dramatic music plays*
"I'm-a fine, Yoshi. Just a little dizzy. Who's-a this fat man?" said Mario.
"Wario," said Yoshi.
"Oh yeah, That's right! He's off-a to his castle, likely up to no good! And Bowser's there, and Tatanga, and the Shroobs are involved-a too! We have to stop-a them," said Mario.
"Woah. What do we do? Was there anyone else?" asked Yoshi.
"Just-a Waluigi," said Mario.
"Oh, this should be really easy then. But just as a precaution, what's your plan of action?" asked Yoshi.
Mario replied, "We should-a...

A. use a Warp Whistle and get-a there quickly."
B. get-a someone's help. Do you know-a anyone?"
C. save Luigi! He must-a be suffocating!"

[komrade]

...save Luigi! He must-a be suffocating!"

"Well, I was."

Mario and Yoshi quickly turned around to see Luigi standing there looking very cross, with a large slab of concrete around his neck.

"Oh, mio fratello ("my brother" in Italian, my little paisanos)! Forgive-a me! I was-a just about to save you when I got-a little sidetracked on an impromptu quest."

The messed-up Dry Bones cleared his throat (or whatever he had on his neck-bone, which was somewhere by his kneecap). "Aren't you... forgetting... someone?" it asked.

Mario slapped his forehead. Of course! He almost forgot...

A. that DK had just wrecked his house!
B. that he probably needed the Dry Bones' help as well.
C. to cure himself of his concussion and get Luigi's head free from the concrete with Dr. Mario.

[shadowgoomba]

That DK just wrecked his house!
"That-a must mean something's wrong! Other than-a that little spat with-a the toys, he hasn't acted like-a this since our early days! Usually we get along okay. Bowser must-a be involved! Is there anything he won't do?" asked Mario.
"Luigi, go to the police station. I have some friends there who can get rid of that rock," said Yoshi.
Luigi nodded and left. Mario used his Warp Whistle and Yoshi and him were transported via the tornado cameo from The Legend of Zelda. Two pipes stood before them.
"Well-a Yoshi, I'm-a going to have to go to Wario's castle alone. You're the only one who can-a speak DK's language," said Mario.
"Who said I know how to speak gorilla?" asked Yoshi.
"You're an animal. In video games-a, all animals speak-a the same language," said Mario.
Yoshi reluctantly agreed with the cliche and went down DK's pipe. Mario went down the Wario pipe.
The narrator then followed the story of...

A. Mario
B. Luigi
C. Yoshi

[Toomai]

Yoshi popped out of the pipe in front of DK's treehouse.
"Okay," he said, brushing his arms off. "Get the bananas, ask the monkey what he did wrong, feed 'im, then scat."
Out of hammerspace came a bunch of bananas, to be used as bait. Yoshi opened the door. The house, like Mario's, had been trashed. No one was around.
"I'd call this a hypnotism," thought Yoshi. "First he destroys Mario's pad and then his own. I just gotta find him and smack him until the curse wears off."
Yoshi then noticed footprints on the floor.

A. The shoes were big and heavy, like Ganondorf's.
B. It was obvious Diddy had been there.
C. Apparently, Kazooie flew out the window.

[shadowgoomba]

It was obvious Diddy had been there. A little TOO obvious.
"I don't buy it, Bowser!" yelled Yoshi in vain. "Why would Diddy just leave his hat lying here?"
Yoshi picked it up. The tag read, "Property of Kremkroc Industries, Inc." Yoshi knew what he must do, regardless of how much he didn't want to. He swung to the jungle floor. He was in the part of Kongo Jungle where the Kong family lives. He turned the corner and walked up to Funky's Flights.
"Hey there, Yoshi-dude! Taking a little R&R, huh? Can't blame you, dude. Sometimes I just wanna kick back, chillax, and catch some Z's, know what I mean?" said Funky.
"I'd love to um...'chillax,' Funky, but I'm here on business. You know where Kremkroc Industries is?" asked Yoshi.
"That crib of negative vibes way up in the mountains? Sure, I know where it is, but why'd you wanna go there?" asked Funky.
Yoshi handed Funky Diddy's hat and pointed to the tag.
"Not only that, but Mario's and DK's houses are trashed. I know for a fact that DK did it the first time, and there's evidence that points to Diddy the second. Almost too much evidence," said Yoshi.
"Woah. Something's seriously wacked. Sure, I'll help you. Free of charge, even. This is too monumental, dude," said Funky.
They did so, and they were at the top floor of the factory within the hour.
"Help out my main men, Yoshi! Later!" Funky yelled as he flew off with his barrel plane.
Yoshi took the elevator down, as it extended to the roof. Luckily enough, there weren't any cronies in the elevator. Even luckier was the fact that all the button floors were labelled. The main office was on Floor 4.
"Must be dumbing down the standards for his minions," Yoshi muttered to himself.
The hatches opened, and Yoshi burst into the double doors.
"All right, K. Rool! Tell me what you're up to!" demanded Yoshi.
"K. Rool? That ignorant fool? I believe you're sorely mistaken," said the voice as the chair turned around. To Yoshi's horror, Diddy was sitting in it!
"But Diddy...why?" said Yoshi, flabbergasted.
"Why? WHY? Because I'm tired of playing second fiddle! For once I want to be in the title of a game. Being a supporting character yourself, I'd think you'd understand. But I guess I was wrong," said Diddy.
"But you were in the title...three times! And a cancelled game too!" said Yoshi.
"Details, details. The one with the most toys wins!" said Diddy.
"K. Rool used to say that...and what about the cap? It was too obvious!" said Yoshi.
"You like the new worker uniforms? I figured you would come, so I told my incompetant minions to leave one behind. With Mario, DK, and soon you out of the picture, I will become the true mascot of Nintendo!" said Diddy with an evil laugh.
"No...you can't do this! You're insane!" yelled Yoshi.
"Bah! Enough with the talking! Guards!

A. Bring Yoshi to his cell!" he ordered.
B. Tie him up! We'll torture the other heroes' locations out of him," he commanded.
C. Bring me the Hypno-Chamber!" he spat.

[Toomai]

"Bring Yoshi to his cell!" he ordered.
Five Kremlings marched in the door.
"Oh no ya don't!"
Yoshi reached into the box of Plot Holes and pulled out a Boost Ball. He tapped it into his Egg Roll and started roaring around the room at frightening speeds. The guards were soon dispersed. Gathering speed, Yoshi blasted through the wall, ending up in a storage room.
"Time to notify the Green Thunder," thought Yoshi. He sent Luigi a text message reading "Diddy's hypno, trasher's him, opinion?"
Luigi's response was...

A. "Lil' busy, l8r."
B. "Find DK."
C. "They rid the rock, I'll help."

[komrade]

"Lil' busy, l8r."
Yoshi was horrified. "What could he be possibly doing?"

Turns out, Luigi was still trying to get through the door of the police station.
"Well, maybe if I tilt a little to the left... no. How about... aha! There we-"
Luigi entered the station, but the rock shattered the door-post.
"Erm... does this count as breaking and entering?" he sheepishly asked.
The Toad police officer buried his head in his hands.
"Dude!" laughed a familiar voice. It was the Black Ninjakoopa, who was handcuffed and under tight guard with the rest of the Koopa Bros. "He got totally pwned by that rock!"
"Pwned? Who actually uses that?" asked Green.
"Everyone does, n00b!"
"And who uses that?"
"Guys," snapped Red, "shut up."
"Listen, you villains," growled Luigi in the most rugged heroic voice he could muster (which still wasn't much),

A. "I heard I was supposed to find one of Yoshi's friends who could help me get this thing off."
B. "STFU! U n00bs were pwned by the POPOS. ROTFLOL."
C. "Can you help me get this thing off?"

[Toomai]

"I heard I was supposed to find one of Yoshi's friends who could help me get this thing off."
"Ooh?" Kirby sprang out of the next room. He brought out his hammer and cleaved the rock collar.
"Thanks." Luigi rubbed his sore neck.
"Aw, no fair!" Black spat. "That rock was so YOU!"
Red gave Black a dirty look. Luigi, meanwhile, was...

A. Calling Mario on his cell to update him on his and Yoshi's conditions.
B. Drinking some red Chu jelly.
C. Telling Kirby his plan.

[komrade]

...telling Kirby his plan. It's pretty pivotal to the plot, but we'll get back to that.

Mario, meanwhile was standing right outside of Wario's immense castle. He knocked on the front gate.
"Wah? Who's there?" shouted Wario from within. Mario...

A. dumped Messed-up Bones onto the ground as a distraction, and searched for an alternate way in.
B. challenged Wario to a battle.
C. said in a nasal voice, "It's me, Waluigi, and I brought donuts!"

[shadowgoomba]

...said in a nasal voice, "It's me Waluigi, and I brought donuts!"
"I'll buzz you in," said Wario
"But sir, I'm right here," said Waluigi.
Wario ignored the real Waluigi because he's so insignificant. The door opened.
"These better be the cream-filled ones! I'm not settling for any powdered-wah! It's Mario! And he doesn't even have donuts! Get him!" commanded Wario.
The Shroob fired at Mario. He missed as Mario double jumped on him.
-Shroob KO'd!-
Mario then fired at Waluigi, knocking him out in one shot.
-Waluigi KO'd!-
"Now that those small fries are done with, time to begin the real fight," said Mario.
"Bring it on!" yelled Tatanga.
Mario built up speed and ran as fast as he could at Tatanga. It was tough. The Pagosu has an extremely fast fire rate. But Mario dodged them all. However, just as Mario was about to use his Mega Jump technique, one well-aimed shot from the Pagosu knocked Mario on his back. Wario used the opportunity to use his Wild Swing-Ding move on him. Mario knocked into a wall.
"Hmm...that's not going to work. I have to wait for Tatanga to do something stupid, then exploit it," said Mario.
Sure enough, he swooped down at Mario, without shooting. Mario used Mega Jump on him now and the Pagosu exploded, knocking the small being that was Tatanga into a wall and defeating him.
-Tatanga KO'd!-
"Well, regardless, you can't beat me! I'm invincible!" said Wario.
"You thought you were invincible. In Wario Land 3, for example, you can get killed by Rudy the Clown. It's just that ALL of his minions were absurdly weak. Even so, I better use this, just in case he is invincible," said Mario, pulling out a Starman.
"I don't care! I'll beat you anyway! I won't let you steal my stuff!" yelled Wario.
"The stuff that you stole?" asked Mario.
"But that's different. I stole it, so it's okay! But I don't need to explain myself to you! Yah!" yelled Wario as he used his trademark barge attack.
Wario crashed into Mario. Wario took damage. Mario was unaffected.
"Wah? I'll try something else then!" Wario said as he ushered a Ground Pound at Mario with the same results.
Attack after attack Wario used, just tiring himself out. He collapsed, but he wasn't knocked out.
"What do you want from me?" asked Wario.
"I want..."

A. to know where you put the Senoir Shrooboid's stomach acid!" said Mario.
B. to finish you off so you won't steal from inocent people any more!" said Mario.
C. to-" Mario started, but he was cut off by Bowser crashing through the window.